I'll Die Trying
by Keneko Hatake
Summary: Inuyasha and Kagome used to have an on and off relationship and then it ends and they don't talk for about 3 years. Finally getting the guts to tell him how she feels. Based on My Life[POV] Titled on the song 'I'll Die Trying' by 'Lonestar' R&R!


**I'll Die Tying**

**Chapter 1: I Want To Be The One  
**

_Summary: This is a point of view story, looking though Kagomes eyes. This was inspired by…well, my life…Inuyasha is the guy I am in love with and what his is basically going though…only I'm typing what I wish he would say and what I wish he would do…_

_So the story starts off with Kagome at Inuyashas house with her best friend and his cousin, Sango. Both Inuyasha and Kagome are arguing…_

* * *

"Just…shut up…" I said loud enough for him to hear, tears began to roll down my cheeks, "I can't believe you can't see I'm still in love with you!" I rose my voice; he reached for me "Kagome…"  
"NO!" I backed away and finished, "I still love you! Do you even know how much sleep I've lost over you! Practicing what I will say to you when the day finally came! Inuyasha, the feelings I have for you are complicated, and what ever skank you're dating now will never feel the same way!" He interrupted me, "don't call her a skank…" I laughed, "You know she is! And no matter what girl you date after me will always be a skank because she is only with you because of you looks! And worst of all you know that too!" I rubbed my eyes, "I like you for your qualities, Inuyasha…but I love you for your defects…have such an influence on me…you change the way I see things…Inuyasha…you make me want to be a better person…" I paused again, "I thought you felt the same way too…but from what I can see, you're just better off without me…" I turned and tried to run, but before I could take a step, I felt him grab my arm and pull me back, "Kagome…I do still love you…with all my heart…" I tried to pull away but he grip tightened and his hand stiffened to keep me in place, I gave in and asked, "Then why are you with her and not me?" His head hang low, "I don't know…I'm trying to find myself I guess…" 

"You guess? Is this you? Or are you just pretending so you can be a 'Minority'?""What is that suppose to mean?!" I turned and looked at him in the eyes, "That means you are only drinking and smoking because you 'think' it's a minority…when really you are just like EVERY ONE else…why can't you just be yourself…the one I fell in love with…" he looked at me with an angry look, "How the hell are you suppose to know what I think or who I am!" I snapped back, "Well, what I do know is that THIS is NOT YOU" there was a long silence, I felt his grip loosen and I broke free, as I turned to leave I said "…That's what I thought…" don't get me wrong it wasn't in a snotty way, It just a statement.

I walked down the sidewalk tears running down my cheeks and my arms crossed as if to be holding myself. A ways back behind me I heard Sango yell, "Why didn't you stop her!" I heard footsteps coming after me, and she yelled, "Kagome, wait!" I stopped and stood stiff yet shaky, I heard Sango stop behind me, "Kagome…Are you okay?" I began to shake uncontrollably and then turned around and ran into her arms and cried on her shoulder. All Sango did was hold me close and petted my head and only hummed "shhh" almost like a mother would do to calm her child.

XXXXX

After my hyperventilating became sobs Sango daringly asked, "Do you want to go back and talk to him?" I looked past her shoulder and saw him sitting on the curb holding his face in his hands…_Do I want to talk to him…Does he want to talk to me? _I asked myself…looking back at Sango I nodded, "I do…" Sango smiled warmly and led me towards him; I could tell he knew I was coming because he shifted a little. I sat on the curb next to him, trying to apologize he cut me off and said, "Look Kagome, I'm really sorry for cursing at you and I just want to say… you're right…" he looked up at me and finished, "I'm sorry…" For a moment I was speechless, and of course my curious ways ruined the mood, "why do you act like I'm repulsive around your friends?" he looked a little confused, "I don't…"  
"You're lying…Kouga tells me that whenever my name is mentioned you say 'ew'" he looked down then back up at me, "I have to…I don't want them to think I'm stuck on an old girlfriend…"  
"So you're ashamed of me?" I asked disappointed, "no that's not it…I'm not ashamed of loving you…I just don't want to look weak…I don't know" I looked at him disbelieving, "Listen Inuyasha, I love you with every fiber of my being…I can see us together forever, raising kids together, and growing old together…If you can't see me and you together forever…then don't even try to tell me you love me with all your heart…" there is was again…another silence, "I'm sorry I have to put you in this situation…if you don't love me…I understand…" I got up to walk away again, and like before he stopped me by gripping my hand, I looked back down at him "I want to try again…"  
"Try what?" I watched him as he used my hand to get back to his feet, "I want to go back out again…but this time…I promise I'll be different…"  
"Inuyasha, I've given you 4 chances….and each time you said 'Things will be different'…they never were…" he took both my hands in his and looked at me in the eye, "Kagome, I love you; I want to be with you again…what do I have to do to prove that to you?" I broke the stare by looking away, "I don't know…prove to me that you want a commitment and that you REALLY and TRULY do love me…I'll take you back with open arms…" I stole my hands back from him and walked away.

* * *

Sango and I walked back to her house in a silence; I could tell Sango was DYING to know what happened, then finally it happened, "Kagome, what happened?" I laughed under my breath, "well…I told him how I felt about him…""All of it?" I shook my head, "not all of it…a good portion though…." she nodded in understanding, "what was his reaction?"  
"He told me he felt the same way…"  
"Do you believe him?"  
"I'm not sure…I want too…but…something won't let me…I don't know what it is…."  
"He does love you…."  
"I know…I just need sometime and I don't want that on and off thing again…I want the real thing…I just don't think he may be ready…"  
"So what did you do?"  
"I told him to prove it to me…" That whole conversation lasted back to her house, and as we walked inside the phone rang. Sango picked it up then handed it to me saying "It's for you…" I took the receiver confused but answered, "Hello?"  
"Hey Kagome, come back to my house." Immediately knowing who it was I sighed, "Inuyasha, I just walked through the door" there was a short silence, "fine. Then I'll come to you" I looked shocked, "what Inuyasha don't…"  
"I'll see you in a few minutes" I heard a click then a dial tone, I ended the call too and handed it to Sango, "Inuyasha will be over here in a few minutes apparently…" she sighed, "are you sure?" I sighed too, "I hope so…" 

XXX

And there it is…10 minutes has pasted…still no Inuyasha, I was a little happy…I guess part of me didn't want to see him again. Then there was a knock at the door, Sango looked at me and I got up, I opened the door and saw Inuyasha bent over trying to catch his breath. But, before I knew it he had is hands on my upper arms and crushing his lips against mine. I pulled away, "Inuyasha what are you doing?!"  
"I broke up with my girlfriend" he smiled, "and?" I answered, "what do you mean, and?"  
"Just because you broke up with your girlfriend doesn't mean I will take you back" I watched as he grin turned to a frown, "I'm sorry…" I looked down. He turned to leave and Sango shot past me, "Inuyasha you can come in, I mean you came all this way….if you want you can…"  
"I'm sure Kagome wouldn't like that…" then both Sango and Inuyasha looked at me, "um...you can stay…"

Here we are, sitting in an awkward silence, Sango is looking at me and Inuyasha, I'm sitting stiff next to him staring intently at the wall. Out of my peripheral vision or Perif I could see Inuyasha glance over at me occasionally, "Okay! No more of this silence!" Sango broke it, the silence that was keeping me safe from telling Inuyasha everything, the good, and the bad "You guys need to talk. Inuyasha, from what you tell me EVERY DAY I see you, you are MADLY in love with Kagome, only you are SOOO afraid to make the first move and actually make a good choice in you life." I looked at Inuyasha and he looked at me, "Tell her what you tell me Inuyasha…do it or I'll do it for you" she said with a look of victory, "I-I was afraid Kagome, I was afraid you would reject me…because of what I've done to you…all the damage I caused…and I lay awake at night hating myself for ruining that perfect smile…" tears started rolling down his cheeks slowly, "Now Kagome, You told Inuyasha how you felt…but did you tell him how HE makes you feel?" I shook my head slowly…not moving my eyes from his, "then go on and do it…" I swallowed loudly, "um…You make me feel…good about myself…everyone knows that I don't have high self esteem…but when I'm with you…it sky rockets…when you hold me…it feels like home, you make me feel warm and secure," I closed my eyes and took a deep breath then looked at him again, "you make me feel anxious and secure at the same time…you change the way I look at things…the way I see colors, life, people, happiness…and when I think of my future…I see you…and us together raising OUR children…" I took deep breaths, you have NO CLUE how hard this was for me, admitting my feelings to the man I love…well, maybe it wasn't so hard, but they've been bottled up and I've never done it before so yeah…I was TERRIFIED!

"Kagome…I love you more than life itself…I can prove that…but to prove I'll be committed is really hard…" I smiled warmly… "I know…" and like that…I was ready, I had forgiven him…I wanted to take him back, he smiled back. I glance at Sango and saw she was lost, but Inuyasha knew what I was getting at. Just like spring break of 2006…he got on one knee and took my hand, "Kagome…I know this will be hard, but I know that we can make it together, will you be my girlfriend again?" my smiled went ear to ear, "yes…I will…" his smile matched mine as he launch to me, we were inches from each other, he whispered, "I love you…" and kissed me, a real kiss…but it was soft and gentle.

XXX

Inuyasha and I were lying on the floor facing each other just talking; our hands were intertwined between our legs. My eyes never left his, this really couldn't be anymore perfect, he was the same person I fell in love with three years ago. And I'm positive it will work because I'm going to be a 9th grader and the will be a senior…okay things will be a tad difficult but we'll FINALLY be in the same school. "What are you thinking about?" he asked with a glowing smile, "how much I don't want this to end...How about you?" I asked back with an equally big grin, "You…and me…and how much I wish I could stop time" I quietly laughed, "are you going to stay tonight?"  
"I hope I can…" we both looked at Sango, "you two are disgusting…" we both laughed, "how so?" I asked, "well, you two are all like, I love you no I love you more and just eck!"  
"Yeah…we get it…can I stay or not?" He said (NOT in a snotty way)  
"Call your mother…" Sango answered as she handed him the phone.

Unfortunately I could only hear one side on the conversation. He argued with his mom for a couple of sentences, she gave in after he told her a lie, Apparently, I wasn't here and he wanted to stay to play Guitar Hero and hang out with Sango. Which struck up a interesting conversation, "Inuyasha, when am I going to meet you parents?" the room got so quiet the television stopped talking, "um…soon?""That wasn't an answer, that was an answer question…I want to know"  
"I don't know babe…she kinda doesn't like you…well they don't"  
"So? They don't know me…I'm sure if they got to know me they would change their mind…and besides…you side they would be more comfortable if I was in high school…well I am now…so I really see why I shouldn't meet them…"  
"Okay how about for our one month anniversary we eat dinner or lunch or do something with my family?" I smiled, "that would be wonderful!" I launched at him making him fall on his back and me lying on top of him, "that's it! If you two are going to do ANY more couple things take it outside…or just not in front of people who want to keep their lunch" we snickered got up then walked outside. The moment the door closed he took me by the waist and pulled me into him and he pressed his lips against mine, I took a step closer and deepened the kiss I felt him smiled as he pushed into me, before I knew it our tongues battled for what seemed like forever, my lips began to get numb and I broke the kiss and saw his lips were swollen, and both of were out of breath, "wow…you put a lot into that" I smiled, "well yeah…do you know how long its been since we kissed?"  
"But we kissed an hour or so ago…" he smiled, "It's been a long time" There was a silence, "I really missed you…" I said, "I missed you too…" he answered.

XXXX

An hour later the sun began to set and we were sitting against the fence talking out heart out. Just when I thought there was nothing more to talk about, he asked me about my childhood, "umm…its getting late, Sango might want us to go back in" as I tried to get up he caught my hand and pulled back a little, "Did something happen when you were younger?" I pulled my hand away, "no, nothing happened…I just don't want to talk about it" he sighed, "okay…I won't push you to tell me…but I am always ready to listen"  
"Fine…" I walked towards the door then turned back to him, "are you coming in?" He got up and walked though the door after me. Without a word we walked in and sat on the couch, he took my hand in his and stroked the back of my hand. To be honest I felt a little guilty for acting the way I did, but I just didn't want to tell him…only one person knows about my childhood and that's Sango…I was right to get so defensive wasn't I? "…something" I looked at Inuyasha "what did you say?"  
"Do you want something?" he repeated, "um…no thank you" I smiled as he got up and walked to the kitchen, almost immediately I leaned over to Sango and whispered, "oh my god, Sango, he asked about my childhood"  
"Did you tell him?" she asked back calmly but in a whisper, "no, but I got all defensive and walked away from him…should I have done that?"  
"Do you trust him?" she asked, "what do you mean?"  
"Exactly what I asked…do you trust him enough to tell him?" I looked down, "I do but…I just haven't told anyone else but you and it'll be taking a big step and I don't want to scare him or anything…" Sango let out a quiet laugh, "do you honestly think you can scare Inuyasha away?"  
"I have before…"  
"Ha! No he scared himself away from you…but if you want to tell him go ahead, if you don't, well then don't" the conversation ended when he walked back in, I leaned back up and he sat beside me, I just stared at him. It was strange how Sango can easily get me to think in the right state of mind, I've told Inuyasha everything but my childhood…I could easily be myself with him. I finally got the strength to tell him how I felt and now we are going to be together most likely forever…and I won't tell him about my childhood. Before he took a bit of the sandwich he made I said, "Inuyasha I have to tell you something…" he looked at me with the sandwich still in his hands and his mouth ready to bit into it, "umm…okay…" he put the sandwich back down, put the plat on the other side of him and looked at me, I stood up and said, "lets go in the back room…"  
"Okay…" he stood up too and I said to Sango as we left, "be right back…"  
"Kay" I shut the door behind us and turned to Inuyasha, "I'm ready to tell you…"  
"About your childhood?" I nodded as I walked past him sitting on the bed behind him; he followed and sat to where he could face me easily.

* * *

**A/N:**_ OOOO cliffy - soo what do you think of the first chapter? I know things moving a little to fast but they kinda have to…but eh…I will get the next chapter up fast so you don't have to wait to long opens new .:document and starts to type:._

_- Keneko_


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